12.02.20 Gross mediocrity
It's one of those nights where I'm feeling grossly incompetent. My research is actually neither here nor there. It's not as speculative as I want it to be, nor is it as technical as I want it to be and the combination of that is making my research very mediocre.
My dissertation was nowhere near thorough enough, I spent too much time learning the technicalities of variable fonts and too little time research on experimental typography. My dissertation was a horrid mess because I did not expect things to take an experimental turn.
I feel the same with my research. I'm no good at the technical things yet, neither have I devoted myself to fully experimenting with typography. That being said, I've spread myself between two opposite poles and once again, the result feels like it's going to be mediocrity.
The results feel so arbitrary... What if I cannot make a strong enough point for experimentation? I'm struggling to rationalise the decisions I'm making in the early stages of my experimentation. Furthermore, time is rapidly running out.
Right now I need a really strong basis/rationale for experimentation and every single step of it. Otherwise I know my project will go down the mediocrity drain.